Preparing & Praying

 Surgery is coming (hopefully).  I don’t know how many of you are still following along and reading our journey. I’d love to hear from you either by email (Replying) or commenting here on this page, it always brightens my day.

Surgery is scheduled for December 2nd. I’m praying that it will be able to happen.  As you know, as I’m sure it’s everywhere and not just here where we are, Covid is effecting everything.  The kids are all remote learning, businesses are being effected, everyone is suppose to stay home as much as possible. Plus we’ve heard whispers that the governor is going to ask the hospitals to cancel elective surgeries again, and I’m selfish and I really don’t want that to happen. I don’t want our hospitals to be overrun, I don’t want people to die from Covid but selfishly I’m praying that my surgery will be able to get done. If you could pray with us that would be great.  It feels like it’s been such a long road to get here and I’m ready for this to just be done and behind us. I’m ready to start the healing process. And I’m ready to not have this looming over me any longer. I also am praying that J will be able to be with me during my hospital stay. There are so many restrictions surrounding hospitals. But I need him to be there. He is my person and my rock. Add that to the prayer list too please. 

I was telling a close friend the other day how this journey is just so emotional. And the emotions hit at weird times.  I’ve been cancer free now for a while, but I don’t really feel cancer free.  I still feel like I’m in this fight. I don’t feel well at times I think I’ll be fine. I have side effects that I’m still dealing with. I don’t look like “myself” when I look in the mirror, it’s the short hair I’m sure. Although, mainly I just feel like this person walking through life just trying to do the best I can but not really sure what I’m suppose to be doing half the time. 

We probably all feel like this many times. And lets be honest we live in a weird world right now.  I think we are probably all just trying to figure out what we are suppose to be doing. I know I’m not alone, but when that cloud of confusion comes and you have that feeling come over you and you think “God, what am I doing?” It can stop you in your tracks.  I know I’ve had to stop many times over this journey and just cry out to God and say to Him “direct my path”.  I will tell you, He does each and every time and when I focus on that and not on my issues I’m able to pull myself together and continue on this journey knowing that I’m right here for a reason. He intentional placed me here for such a time as this and my job is just to do my best. So, as we prepare for surgery and pray that it takes place, I continue to cry out “direct my path” and ask that whatever happens I remember I’m suppose to be here right now, doing this, and I’m just going to keep giving it my best. 

Thanks as always for walking with us, praying for us, and loving us.  Your love has brought us through this past year plus. And without our people standing in the gaps and lifting us up we wouldn’t be where we are. We have felt every prayer and are encouraged by you. Thank you & know we love you!